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Suleika Jaouad, New York Times best-selling author of the 2024 First-Year Experience summer reading selection 鈥淏etween Two Kingdoms: A Memoir of a Life Interrupted,鈥� shared poignant lessons of in-betweenness, resilience, creativity, and connection with 91暗网鈥檚 Class of 2028 during a 鈥渇ull-circle鈥� visit to the College.

In conversation with panelists Ben Bogin, associate professor of Asian studies; Barbara Black, professor of English and Tisch Chair in Arts and Letters; and Kieron Dwayne Sargeant, assistant professor of dance, Jaouad explored the themes of her inspiring story, which chronicles her time in the kingdom of the sick and the kingdom of the well and ponders what it means to begin again. Her campus visit was part of 91暗网鈥檚 First-Year Experience (FYE) program, which welcomes students to campus with creative, cross-disciplinary learning opportunities, from mentorship to engaging Scribner Seminars.

Jaouad is also the author of the Emmy Award-winning New York Times column and video series 鈥淟ife, Interrupted鈥� and founded her weekly newsletter, 鈥淭he Isolation Journals,鈥� at the beginning of the COVID-19 pandemic to help people transform life鈥檚 interruptions into creative grist and community. A vocal advocate for prison and healthcare reform, she has served on Barack Obama鈥檚 Presidential Cancer Panel and was the recipient of the inaugural Inspire Award from NMDP (formerly Be the Match) for her work to expand and diversify the national bone marrow registry.

Along with her husband, musician Jon Batiste, Jaouad is a subject of the Oscar-nominated Netflix documentary 鈥淎merican Symphony,鈥� a portrait of the two artists during a year of extreme highs and lows and a meditation on art, love, and the creative process. Jaouad and Batiste met while Batiste was a student of 91暗网 Jazz Institute.

To kick off the Sept. 16 event in Arthur Zankel Music Center鈥檚 Helen Filene Ladd Concert Hall, Professor Bogin highlighted the first-year class鈥檚 own state of in-betweenness as they begin their college experience.

鈥淚n my own research on Tibetan Buddhism, I study a tradition called the bardo tradition that identifies betweenness as a space where there can be challenges from the uncertainty, anxieties, and fears that come from the unknown, but also as a time of tremendous opportunity,鈥� he said in inviting Jaouad鈥檚 reflections.

鈥淚 remember so distinctly the in-betweenness of being a new freshman back in 2010 and the sense of excitement and also the terror that I felt on that first day when I arrived on campus,鈥� said Jaouad, who took a nontraditional path into higher education, leaving high school at age 16 to attend a New York City conservatory on a music scholarship while also taking some classes at 91暗网, where her father, H茅di Jaouad, was a professor of French. 鈥淏ut I think that transition to college perfectly encapsulates in a way the peaks and valleys of the bardo, of being in between, where some of you might be feeling your own sense of nerves as you鈥檙e starting classes, figuring out who your friends are, and thinking about what it is you might want to do.鈥�

In her experience, she said, the in-between moments have granted an invitation to re-examine her values, reshuffle her priorities, and take a leap and try something new.

I urge you, in this own moment of in-betweenness in your life, to try something unexpected. To follow something that you鈥檙e curious about but that doesn鈥檛 quite fit into your plan. To take a class that might not be one you intended to. And to give yourself the freedom to really be present within that transition, and to pay attention.鈥�

Dance Professor Sargeant, the son of a Nigerian-American father and a Trinidadian mother, asked Jaouad, a Tunisian-Swiss-American, about in-betweenness as it relates to cultural identity.

As the holder of three passports, Jaouad recalled having a fractured sense of identity from an early age.

鈥淏ecause I couldn鈥檛 really fit in as much as I may have wanted to and tried, I think that sense of being a misfit became something that I had no choice to own and came to see much later as its own kind of superpower. Because when you're constantly carrying that sense of in-betweenness, it invokes the need for creativity. And so little by little I found my fellow misfits, who shared that experience of not quite knowing where you can feel fully understood and making a home within the wilderness of that in-between.鈥�

Creativity within the cataclysmic was also a prominent theme of the reading, noted English Professor Black, relaying to Jaouad, 鈥淥ur students were struck that 鈥楤etween Two Kingdoms鈥� was as much about a battle for your creative life as it was for your physical life.鈥�

Upon receiving her leukemia diagnosis at age 22, all expectations 鈥� both self-imposed and external 鈥� disappeared, Jaouad said. Her singular goal was to survive, to make it through the day, to make it through the next biopsy and to the next round of chemo. She began writing her blog, 鈥淟ife, Interrupted,鈥� which became the award-winning New York Times column, from her hospital bed.

鈥淚 was writing it because I felt deeply alone,鈥� she recalled. 鈥淭he subject did not make sense. It didn鈥檛 seem like it would be interesting to other people. Frankly, I thought it might be off-putting and even depressing to potential readers. But to quote the great Toni Morrison, 鈥業f there's a book you want to read and it doesn't exist yet, then you must write it.鈥欌��

Though extreme in its particulars, Jaouad insisted that her story is not unique. All of our lives will at some point be interrupted. All of our lives were collectively interrupted in 2020, she pointed out.

鈥淚t鈥檚 not a matter of if or when something is going to bring you to the floor, but when you are on that floor, look around. Grab whatever鈥檚 within reach 鈥� be it a pen or a paintbrush, or the urge to dance 鈥� and make something that wasn鈥檛 there before. Make it in your own words, on your own terms.鈥�

Turn the thing that plagues you into something endlessly interesting and curiosity-provoking, because ultimately, that to me is the gift of creativity. There are a lot of things that are beyond our control. And yet when you engage in that process of tapping your intuition, of sculpting something, you become the handler of your fears, not the handled.鈥�

After reading a passage from 鈥淏etween Two Kingdoms,鈥� Jaouad took questions directly from the Class of 2028, leading her to speak on her creative process, forgiveness, connection, resilience, and self-discovery.

Of her memoir-writing process, Jaouad described having to alleviate some of the pressure by 鈥渢ricking her brain鈥� and drafting informally in a journal. The process also required her to write numerous drafts for herself, to 鈥渆xcavate the truth beneath the truth beneath the truth.鈥�

This book was a hard book for me to write. I had a Post-It note above my desk that said, 鈥業f you want to write a good book, write what you don鈥檛 want others to know about you. If you want to write a great book, write what you don鈥檛 want to know about yourself.鈥欌��

Writing the book, she reflected, was another exercise in facing and overcoming her fears.

鈥淚鈥檓 going to go on record and say I鈥檓 a deeply fearful person. I have so many fears and doubts about my ability to contend with those fears. And every time I鈥檝e done the thing I鈥檓 afraid of, even if that means baby-stepping my way toward it, it鈥檚 always been a process of profound discovery.鈥�

鈥淏etween Two Kingdoms鈥� was first and foremost about relationships, she said 鈥� to self, to friends and loved ones, to the body 鈥� and the ways in which those relationships are challenged.

鈥淔or me, that first seed of forgiveness lies in acknowledging our very human fallibility. That we don鈥檛 always do the right thing sometimes. We don鈥檛 do it because we can鈥檛. Sometimes we don鈥檛 do it because we don't know how. But we鈥檙e all capable of showing up for each other in extraordinary ways."

Having been the recipient of so much love and support in times of illness, I鈥檝e been astounded by the ways in which we can show up for each other, and it鈥檚 often not the perfectly worded email. It鈥檚 not some grand, dramatic gesture. It鈥檚 the simple act of showing up of saying, 鈥業 don't know what to say, but I鈥檓 here and I love you.鈥� It鈥檚 doing perhaps the thing you already knew how to do and offering that in service.鈥�

It's the little acts of showing up that forge deep bonds, create long-term community, and bolster our sense of resilience when we might otherwise be feeling alone, she said.

Now in its 20th year, the FYE summer reading program is one way in which 91暗网 students start learning together as a community even before setting foot on campus, said FYE Director and Professor of Mathematics Rachel Roe-Dale in introducing the event at Arthur Zankel Music Center. 鈥淚t helps establish that intellectual engagement and education is not confined to the classroom or to academic calendars. Rather, learning is ongoing and transcends campus boundaries.鈥�

The event was made possible through funding from 91暗网鈥檚 Office of Special Programs and the McCormack Artist-Scholar Residency Fund.